Excuse me, your pants never zip.

E.M.Y.P.N.Z are proud to present to you an exclusive interview with one of Asia’s most sought after movie star. Gay Chou, who famously starred in blockbuster movies such as Initial D (He was the got rammed over by a car). Gay was in town recently to promote his upcoming Hollywood blockbuster movie,

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – Who stole my bloody shell?

Below is an extract from our interview with the coveted actor.

(Gay Chou arriving for our interview, 5 hours late.)

Interviewer: Hi Gay, you were 5 hours late.

Gay Chou: Oh, I was locked up in the sewer.

Interviewer: In a sewer?

Gay Chou: Yeah, I’ve been living there for the past 5 months. You know, trying to get into my role as a ninja turtle.

Interviewer: Didn’t the director told you the film was wrapped up 3 months ago?

Gay Chou: Really? Don’t bluff me hor. (As he mumble something about being systematically abused by the production crew.)

Interviewer: Alright, moving on with the questions. Can you tell us more about your role in the movie?

Gay Chou: I was supposed to be rammed by a car in the first scene and die.

Interviewer: Oh, that’s rather similar to your role in Initial D.

Gay Chou: But I managed to shout Cowabunga before I die this time round.

(Gay Chou recounting his role in the upcoming movie.)

Interviewer: Oh, that’s tragic. Can I get you something to eat?

Gay Chou: Yes thank you, a plate of Fish & Chips please.

Interviewer: Don’t you have Fish & Chips back in Taiwan? Why don’t you try our local delicacies.

Gay Chou: Sorry hor, we only have potato chips and casino chips in Taiwan.

Interviewer: Oh I see. So do you eat them?

Gay Chou: Sometimes, when I get really hungry and there’s no more fish food left in my apartment. They’re kind of hard to digest though.

(Gay Chou tucking into his plate of Fish & Chips.)

Interviewer: Can you pass me some of your chili sauce?

Gay Chou: No, I’m going to smuggle these chili sauce back to Taiwan.

Interviewer: Come on, just one packet.

Gay Chou: No means no. (Before showing me his middle finger.)

 

(Gay Chou turns nasty over a packet of chili sauce.)

Interviewer: Oh, you can burn in hell. Now tell me more about your upcoming deal with MASTERCARD.

Gay Chou: They said I was the ideal ambassador.

Interviewer: Can I know why?

Gay Chou: You have to see it to understand it.

There are some things money can’t buy, but for every thing else, there’s MASTERCARD.

Gay Chou: I love their concept. It’s so much better than that “More birds, more luck” advertisement.

Interviewer: Erm, if you say so Gay, if you say so. Thanks for your time.

Gay Chou: Thank you too.

Gay Chou’s new movie “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – Who stole my bloody shell?” will be out on 9 July 2007 in all lousy cinemas.