Excuse me, your pants never zip.

THE MAGIC CARD VIRUS July 22, 2007

Posted by wesharethesameblogspot in Jiahong, Life's Like That.
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I think there is this virus spreading around McDonald outlets all over Singapore, but before you worry about becoming, ahem, a Black Sheep. Let me just make it clear that this virus only affects Magic cards players, so you are safe as long as you keep your hands off those cards.

Symptoms of this virus are as follows.

1. The first stage of virus alters your genetic materials and turns you into a selfish person who only thinks about yourself, your French fries and your cup of Coca Cola. You are likely to occupy tables at McDonald 24-7 with a cup of Coca Cola and your collection of limited edition Magic cards.

2. The second stage of the virus will alter your looks as the guy on the left in the following photo will testify.

That’s the result of 50 packets of French fries too many. The virus makes every part of your body oily except for your fingers. (This is to prevent your limited edition Magic cards from oil stains)

3. The third stage of the virus will turn you into a loner who only speaks with fellow Magic cards players. And when you speak, the conversation invariably ends up sounding like this.

Player A: Wah, my Hit Points nearly empty already you Orgy Ogre really powerful.

Player B: Ya, but my Mana points very little already. I need to boost my Ogre already.

Player C: Eh, who took my Wizard card?

Player A: Can lend me your calculator and pen? I need to calculate my remaining Hit Points.

Player B: Okay, here you go.

Player C: Eh, who took my Wizard card?

Player A: Wah, I’m feeling quite hungry. Can pass me some fries?

Player B: Okay, here you go.

Player C: Eh, who took my Wizard card?

Players A & B: Munch Munch Munch.

 4. The forth stage of the virus will indirectly turn your already very kaopeh face into an even more kaopeh face, especially on Saturdays, Sundays and Public holidays. This is because people who are craving for a hamburger will realize there are no more seats available for them and they usually vent their frustration by punching Magic cards players in their face.

5. The fifth and most advance stage of the Magic virus will give you the ability to ignore everything that is happening around you. Or in simple terms, what I call the Kay-Siao symptoms. This stage of the virus gives Magic cards players immense concentration power as they always managed to ignore the hovering crowd of people around their table. This stage of the virus will also give players the ability to survive an entire day at McDonald with only a cup of Coca Cola.

Oh, I think I better bugger off and hide in Batu Cave. I’m petrified of this virus.