Excuse me, your pants never zip.

I hope regular readers of this blog realized by now that there is a cultural phenomenon sweeping across this tiny red dot we call Singapore. The fact that I consider the following phenomenon the most astonishing thing to happen on Earth since some gigantic rocks landed on this planet and killed all Dinosaurs, you know it must be something really Earth shattering. To keep things simple, I’ll simply call this phenomenon,

“THE VANISHING CANS PHENOMENON”

I sure by now you would have noticed aunties rammaging through rubbish bins and hawker centre all over Singapore in such of something exclusive called ALUMINUM CANS. Just like how it was cool in the 80s for all aunties to perm their hair so that they look like they are carrying 50 packets of Maggi noodles on their head. Aunties nowadays wouldn’t be seen dead without clutching a prized drinking can in their hand. In fact, this activity is considered so trendy the cleaning ladies at Singapore Polytechnic have apparently joined in the fun.

The following conversation took place between a cleaning lady and me at the Singapore Polytechnic this afternoon.

Aunty: Boy, still got water in your can?

Me: Erm, yes.

(30 seconds later…)

Aunty: Boy, still got water in your can?

Me: Erm, yes.

When I eventually finish my can of coffee, the view of my table usually changes from this,

To this within 2 seconds,

There are several reasons to explain the vanishing cans phenomenon.

1. Aunties all over Singapore are collaborating on a project in a bid to enter the Guinness Book of Records where they be building a giant replica of the Great Wall of China using only aluminum drinking cans. The project shall be tentatively called The Great Cans of Singapore.

2. The aunties want to teach their Chee Ko Pek husbands a lesson by shoving aluminium cans up their…

Ermm, maybe not.