Excuse me, your pants never zip.

This post might offend your classmate, your neighbour, sister and maybe even your mother. But since we don’t mind telling you if your pants aren’t zipped, I guess we don’t mind posting this.

Anyone noticed the sudden influx of girls in ARMY shirts?

Looks like with their “army” branding, SAF have unexpectedly conquered both gender markets successfully. Let us explore some reasons why girls choose to wear this… er.. subtly designed shirt, and for the thrill factor, I will reveal THE TRUTH only at the end.

List of Possible Factors

a) Just like how it is now cool for men to pluck eyebrows and be pussies, it is cool as well for girls to show their manly side. (even though they wear skimpy shorts inside to show off their sexy legs and do the usual girly stuff)

b) The shirt is very well designed, with the word ARMY cleverly placed in the middle, and the use of very aesthetically pleasing san-serif fonts complete the whole package. (to be considered for our soon to be produced Little Miss Kao Peh tees)

c) These incredibly stupid nerdy observant girls have interpreted it as ARM ME and like the feel of empowerment. The choice to plaster the secret “ARM ME” message over the neh neh chest can of course… ahem… be intepreted interestingly too.

d) They are too poor and are wearing their father’s old army tees. (even though their father’s 30 year old army tees don’t smell as bad as my secondary school uniform)

TA-DA! A grand list of reasons and excuses why girls wear the ARMY (ARM ME) tee.

Ok enough of that crap, THE TRUTH will now be revealed. You see, it is of my opinion that these girls are what we call, LAWs. LAWs for Little Army Whores. This look is complemented well with a pair of denim panties (ok no one really cares cause its not gonna be seen anyway).

Yes yes, why wear them if they arent meant to be seen right? Well, think of it as your pad, girls, and your er…. groin guard, guys. It isn’t necessary, but don’t we all love abit of security?

The oversized ARMY tee with denim panties look is to give the “I just slept with an army guy last night and lo and behold, I’m wearing his tee the next morning!”

Ways to complete the look include, yawning frequently, airing your armpits, messing up your hair (while no one’s looking of course (you know, like you just got shagged or something) and then reappearing with your messy hair), replying like you’re drugged e.g “mmmm…”, “yeaaaaaaaaaa”, say “hmm hmm” (with a slight smile) instead of laughing.

Okay, hopefully I have enlightened readers still in the dark over this new fashion phenomenon.

Looks like I still need practise on my LAW look though.

What follows is an interesting exchange between lonelygal and a bum, and lonelygal and a deadguy on IRC.

<BuMMeR`> ah..
<BuMMeR`> u how old?
<lonelygal> 23..
<lonelygal> u?
<BuMMeR`> 28
<lonelygal> oh..
<lonelygal> no work?
<BuMMeR`> self-employed
<BuMMeR`> what do u do?
<lonelygal> oh okie..
<lonelygal> im in uni..
<lonelygal> im studying animal technology at nus..
<BuMMeR`> oh okie… i thought uni has lot of activities?
<BuMMeR`> animal technology? wah… that’s sound scary.. what do learn?
<lonelygal> its like learning how to tag animals
<lonelygal> and stuff
<BuMMeR`> oh okie
<BuMMeR`> i thought is the study of animal behaviour
<lonelygal> oh tts zoological observer ward
<BuMMeR`> oh
<lonelygal>
<lonelygal> im christine..
<lonelygal> but i have a malay sirname..
<BuMMeR`> hellow christine
<BuMMeR`> oh ? which parent of urs is chinese?
<lonelygal> my mom..
<BuMMeR`> oh
<lonelygal> so i look abit eurasion..
<lonelygal> im not brown..
<BuMMeR`> wah… then u must be pretty
<BuMMeR`> i get what u mean… fair skin malay gal
<lonelygal> yeap
<lonelygal>
<lonelygal> i have no pics of myself tho..
<lonelygal> oni on my blog..
<BuMMeR`> oh? share ur bloh
<BuMMeR`> i mean blog
<BuMMeR`> www.lonelygal.blogspot.com ?
<BuMMeR`> or lonely-hearted-gal.blogspot.com
<BuMMeR`>
<lonelygal> http://wesharethesameblogspot.wordpress.com/
<BuMMeR`> oh.. got it
<BuMMeR`> so what do u usually do after you knock off from school?
<lonelygal> i go on irc and pretend to be a girl and make fun of ppl like u..
<BuMMeR`> oh..
<lonelygal> u leh..
<lonelygal> hmm
<lonelygal> ?
<lonelygal> reply lehs
 

<DeAdGuy2|> hi
<DeAdGuy2|> lonely?
<DeAdGuy2|> phonesex, realsex, petting?
<DeAdGuy2|> choose any dear
<lonelygal>
<DeAdGuy2|>
<lonelygal> hw do i address u..
<DeAdGuy2|> i am melvin dear
<DeAdGuy2|> u?
<lonelygal> oh tts nice..
<lonelygal> we have the same name
<DeAdGuy2|> really
<DeAdGuy2|> u r a gal rite?
<lonelygal> nearly
<lonelygal> the same…
<lonelygal> melvina is my name
<DeAdGuy2|> ohh…u r a bi?
<DeAdGuy2|> haha sry sy
<DeAdGuy2|> mistook
<DeAdGuy2|> very sry
<lonelygal> its okie..
<lonelygal> u gt pic?
<DeAdGuy2|> nope dear
<DeAdGuy2|> how abt u?
<lonelygal> what do u enjoy doing..
<lonelygal> i gt pic in my blog oni..
<lonelygal> chat abit more then i show u..
<DeAdGuy2|> i enjpy… phonesex, realsex, peting
<DeAdGuy2|> u?
<DeAdGuy2|> u?
<lonelygal> i enjoy surfing..
<lonelygal> the internet
<lonelygal> hmm
<DeAdGuy2|> haha…okok
<lonelygal> talking
<lonelygal> to the mirror..
<DeAdGuy2|> okie..
<DeAdGuy2|> okie
<lonelygal> v fun hehe
<DeAdGuy2|> haha okie
<DeAdGuy2|> where u live?
<lonelygal> quite sad..
<DeAdGuy2|> y?
<lonelygal> i live in jurong industrial park..
<lonelygal> cos my dad works thr..
<DeAdGuy2|> ohhokie..
<lonelygal> so got a workers quarters thr…
<lonelygal> u?
<DeAdGuy2|> i live very far from u.. at ang mo kio
<lonelygal> ooo
<DeAdGuy2|> yes..
<lonelygal> u got blog?
<lonelygal> no pic?
<DeAdGuy2|> nope dear
<lonelygal>
<DeAdGuy2|> yes…very sry dear..
<lonelygal> no pic not fun de…
<lonelygal> k bah show u mine
<lonelygal> http://wesharethesameblogspot.wordpress.com/
<DeAdGuy2|> okie..thnks
<DeAdGuy2|> how do i see ur pic?
<lonelygal> http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v231/lord_kenwjj/chew-1.jpg
<lonelygal> here..
<lonelygal> eh
<lonelygal> sry
<DeAdGuy2|> its okie
<lonelygal> sry
<lonelygal> i mean..
<lonelygal> http://wesharethesameblogspot.files.wordpress.com/2007/06/little-miss-kaopeh.jpg
<lonelygal> yea tts the one
<DeAdGuy2|> u r a guy?
<DeAdGuy2|> u r a guy?
<lonelygal> whhheeee new things to blog
<lonelygal> bye

Looks like Little Miss Kao Peh is not turn off enough..

Last but not least… here’s a preview of things to come…

(Looks like some one is unhappy with Raphael in his red mask)

Yours truly,

Master Young