Excuse me, your pants never zip.

I can’t stand it. Everywhere I go, I see girls wearing these same few pieces of shirt.

You go Bugis, you go Orchard, you see girls wearing it.

So what’s the problem, you ask? Am I jealous because I’m not female and I can’t wear it? Actually my sister has one and I can wear it anytime.

The problem is, they look scary. Let’s start a closer look at the graphic print.

  

This is Miss Sunshine. She doesn’t look so cheerful to me. In fact, her facial expression tells me she either,

1. Accidentally killed her mother.

2. Forgot to flush the toilet she used 2 weeks ago.

3. Swallowed the whole tube of Nivea facewash meant for her pimples.

Next, let’s take a look at Miss Naughty.

She doesn’t look naughty enough, because she’s not wearing a latex suit or maybe at the very least, expose some cleavage. Again this is scary because if this picture depicts naughtiness, then I guess I am a much much more mischievious kid than I thought I was.

But wait, the most scary part hasn’t been explained. Actually there’s no harm wearing T-shirts that shows the wrong information and scary illustration. But, I find it quite sickening IF,

Scenario 1: A bin-chao-chao girl (Grumpy-looking) wearing Miss Sunshine sitting opposite you in the MRT carriage. And just because you look at her so many times because you feel so astonished and disgusted she thought you had an interest in her.

Girls, if you’re feeling not so cheerful please don’t wear Miss Sunshine, it’ll spoil any normal guy’s day.

Scenario 2: You see a nerdy girl with braces and thick rimmed spectacles wearing Miss Naughty. You thought she’s naughty by heart but you overheard her conversation with her geeky boyfriend.

Nerd Girl: Hwelllow, kan wii plae cheeeeessss after owl 24 hourwer selff-studee. I finkk I spik betarr wiff bra..cesss..

Nerd Boy: No, we should see who can finish the whole book of Sudoko first.

So girls and guys, please don’t wear what you’re not to be. Wear what we are! If you think you’re quite kaopeh, like us, you can start ordering our T-shirts now!

E.M.Y.P.N.Z merchandise is out now! Please kindly place your order through email and state your size, breast or chest size, address and state how kaopeh you are. Sales start today!

Presenting to you our product..