MOST HANDSOME THING ALIVE SINCE ELVIS August 6, 2007
Posted by wesharethesameblogspot in Jiahong, This Is Serious.add a comment
It’s not that we are too lazy to update this blog, the truth is we are too busy surfing even more new porn sites studying for our upcoming examinations. Okay, at least that’s what we want readers to believe.
Continuing from where we left off, it seems like Channel U’s Belle and Beau is the perfect opportunity for hunks and babes alike to have their shot at stardom. It is also a good opportunity for some kaopeh people to sabotage their unsuspecting friends. Take for example,
Okay, I’m not saying I’m more handsome than him, even though a lot of people actually say I am. Seriously, this guy is hardly the most handsome student in Singapore Polytechnic but Viola! 653 votes! Confirm kena sabotage if not than he must really be damn damn damn thick skin.
Another unfortunate victim can be found below, well I hope this teaches him a few lessons about sleeping in class.
100 votes and comment that reads,
“SIMPLY too HANDSOME and PRO in everything”
I dread seeing my own photo appear on the nomination list because that would probably mean,
1. I’m very unpopular in school and everybody wants to sabotage me on national television.
2. I’m very unpopular in school and I have non-existent relationship management skills.
3. I’m very unpopular in school and my schoolmates hate me.
4. I’m very unpopular in school but still very handsome.
However there are some really handsome guy in school who really deserve their nomination. To my greatest surprise, one of the nominated guy is someone whom I’m am rather familiar with, presenting to readers – THE MOST HANDSOME THING ALIVE SINCE ELVIS.
Way to go Disheng, I voted for you.
NEH NI NEH NI POO POO… OH WAIT July 21, 2007
Posted by wesharethesameblogspot in Edwin, This Is Serious.1 comment so far
Today is 21st July. This date brings a special significance to all Harry Potter fans because finally, the final book to conclude the story will be on sale finally.
21st July, 5a.m Singapore Time
Throngs of Pottermaniacs lined up before the Singapore Pools outlet bookstore entrances, waiting for the bookshop auntie to finally lift the shutter and open the store. Although it’s only 5am, they are too eager to grab a hold of the book. Dressed in their Hogwarts uniform and fake wands and maybe a permanent tattoo ’scar’ on their heads, they began fighting over who is the real Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. While on the other hand, these supposedly Potter parents ended up suffering because they have to remain in queue or else their hard work would be gone to waste. Resembling very much like a weekend 4D queue, the Pottermanaics eagerly anticipate the sale of the book.
Throughout all these commotion, I was sleeping.
21st July, 7am Singapore time
Finally the books are on sale! Pottermaniacs began purchasing it and they went home scrutinizing through the pages, wondering who died in the final chapter. Parents heaved a sigh of relief and they managed to reward themselves with a meal at Botak Jones.
Throughout all these commotion, I was sleeping.
21st July, 10am Singapore time
I managed to be on time for my soccer session with my friends. They said to meet at 9am and I came at 10. By these time, with the help of speed reading, Pottermaniacs would have finished the book anyway. And just like a satisfied customer at Botak Jones, they closed the book and give a thumbs-up sign to themselves. Well done.
21st July, 2pm Singapore time
I went to a particular popular bookstore in hope of getting myself a book. Not with high hopes anyway. And I went there only to be stunned by Russell Lee’s True Singapore Ghost Stories Book 16. I don’t need any ghost stories. I got scared not because of the stories but rather how strategically they were placed just beside the Harry Potter books 1-6. Careless buyers might just accidentally buy a copy and start reading it and wonder to themselves, “Since when Harry Potter book got so many pontianaks, and where the hell is Harry Potter himself.”
I thought my hopes were dashed when there isn’t a single HP book 7. But my eagle eyed friend spotted display copies when exiting the store and I purchased one finally. And seeing so many Potter fans being turned away by the bookshop auntie because there is supposedly no stock, I paraded my book in the queue to make my purchasement. YAY I GOT ONE, HAVE YOU, LOSER.
I went home to boast to my 12 year old sister.
Me: EH YOU KNOW WHAT ANOT, I GOT THE BOOK 7 LEH. YOU WANNA READ. OPPS I THINK NOT.
Sis: NTUC got sell.
20 REASONS WHY WE NEVER UPDATE July 18, 2007
Posted by wesharethesameblogspot in Edwin, This Is Serious.add a comment
Sorry for the lack of updates for these past few days. We sincerely apologised because there are a number of factors which led to this blog becoming stale.
1. Lazy bloggers (editors). Being one of the major contributors, it’s sad to see your fellow editors playing lan gaming than doing serious stuff like blogging.
2. Rainy days. Rainy days contribute to more proneness to sleeping. Hence more sleep=less blog.
3. What-goes-up-must-come-down syndrome. Last month we were at the peak of our blogging abilities. But now we’re at our lowest yet. Support us by visiting this blog everyday. Your blog visit means much to us.
4. What goes-around-comes-around syndrome. I’ve been listening to Justin Timberlake’s song and have been humming to myself non-stop for the past 2 weeks. I could even sing the song backwards.
5. Electricity bills. Our bills have skyrocketed because we have been visiting some new porn site that is worth visiting. Although this is not an excuse, we want you to believe it is.
6. 2% GST Hike. Apparently we have become quite sian with this increase because not only we need to pay 2% more on goods. But we have to hear our fellow parents complain.
7. Harry Potter Book 7 is arriving. While everyone’s busy anticipating who might die or live in the last chapter of Hogwarts warriors vs Siao Ting Tong wizards, we began to find similarities between the fictional life of theirs and one of our unnamed friend. (post coming soon). So we are still currently making some investigations.
8. We have began to queue up for tickets to next year’s National Day Parade.
9. One of our editors has STD. (Sexual Transmitted Disease)
10. The rest of the editors decided to give him support.
11. All of us got STDs in the end and all are affected.
12. Blogger’s Block. Writers experience this, why not bloggers.
13. My mother keep asking me to do housework nowadays.
14. Typing is a strenous exercise. We were not up to it.
15. Exam coming, more reasons not to blog, although we still continue to play.
16. Our blog is getting too popular, need the publicity to die down.
17. No comments on our blog, so no motivation. We want to hear from you!
18. Jiahong is gay.
19. Andrew is gay.
20. Kenneth is gay.
* updated: Edwin is not gay.
TRIP TO THE ARCADE July 8, 2007
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Okay, I went to the arcade at AMK Hub recently with some friends when a particular sticker on a gaying gaming machine caught my eyes.
Whoa, call this a marketing gimmick but it sure attracted a large crowd to the arcade. To our greatest surprise, we caught Edwin moving secretly towards the kids section of the arcade, contemplating over the prospect of flashing for games.
However, due to a combination of Edwin’s,
1. Tendency to strip in public; and
2. Inability to resist the temptations of arcade games.
We are unable to continue with this post as we needed to keep the ratings of this blog at a PG level. We apologize for the disappointment caused because pictures of events that followed may cause readers to feel nauseous and we do not wish to risk the health of our readers.
MUNCH TIME July 7, 2007
Posted by wesharethesameblogspot in Edwin, This Is Serious.add a comment
I was watching Live Earth, and heard a certain song by Kellee Clarkson. I listened very carefully and found that there’s a hidden meaning in this certain song. It seemed like that song is promoting a certain brand of…. biscuits..
Here’s the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Sin Chew Bin Gan
You dedicated you took the time
Wasn’t long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Sin Chew Bin Gan
And all you’d ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That’s all you’d ever hear me say
But Sin Chew Bin Gan
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Sin Chew Bin Gan
How can I put it? You put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah
Sin Chew Bin Gan
How come I never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way
But Sin Chew Bin Gan
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
I get what I want
Sin Chew Bin Gan
You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can’t take it
Again and again and again and again
Sin Chew Bin Gan
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get
I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know)
That I get
I get what I want
Sin Chew Bin Gan
Sin Chew Bin Gan
Sin Chew Bin Gan..
I AM MASTER YOUNG! July 3, 2007
Posted by wesharethesameblogspot in Andrew, This Is Serious.add a comment
Ok, less this gung-ho sounding title were to intimidate anyone, I’m actually writing this because my position on this blog has become as safe as Ranieri’s job at Chelsea when Mr. Amovingbra took over.
Anyway, I am known by many titles, including Andrew, Andrew Yeo, Andrewww (with the w dragging on) and Andrew Yeooooo (pronounced “Yooooo”). I shall not touch on the less glamorous ones. Today i will explain why I am the fearsome MASTER YOUNG.
As someone below 20, I thought it would be hipper to change my sir name from Yeo to Yang. No, not Yang with the slang (Yheng), but Yang (Young). To disguise the all-powerful entity that is me, I have gone 1 step further, and changed it to YOUNG completely.
For many years, I have trained in the rural areas of Ang Mo Kio central Big Mac centre, listening and tolerating the crap and absorbing the nonsense spewed by my friends fellow pugilists to reach the current state of strength that I am.
BEHOLD MY AWESOME TECHNIQUES
BEEN THERE, WORE IT July 1, 2007
Posted by wesharethesameblogspot in Jiahong, This Is Serious.add a comment
Have you heard of the recent news where a certain Cameron Diaz took her bag to Peru and ruffled some Peruvian feathers in the process? From some of the reports I’ve read, it seems like the Peruvians are seemingly pissed off because they don’t like Cameron Diaz voice in Shrek 3, the slogan evokes memories of the Maoist Shining Path insurgency that fought the government in the 1980s and early 1990s in a bloody conflict that left nearly 70,000 people dead.
I think many readers would find that bag familiar, that’s because yours truly wore that bag around Singapore some 4 years ago. The only difference between my bag and Cameron Diaz’s bag is that while she purchased her bag as a tourist in China, I bought mine in Bugis Street.
Well, obviously I did not face the same problem that Cameron Diaz had because I hardly even have enough money to travel to Paya Lebar not to mention Peru.
In Singapore however, this bag had brought me several inconvenience as well. On a closer inspection, one would realized that the Chinese slogan translate to “Serve the People” and at such, I would very much avoid bringing this bag along with me every time I make my way across Changi Village for Nasi Lemak. Especially since I have the habit of slinging my bag across my backside.
Changi Village – Gay capital of Singapore
Gay capital of Singapore – Backside
Serve the People – Across my backside
Uh-uh.
Whoa, talk about a whole new meaning to cover your back(side).
THE SINGAPORE COURTESY CAMPAIGN IS FLAWED June 27, 2007
Posted by wesharethesameblogspot in Jiahong, This Is Serious.1 comment so far
I was watching the TV the other night when I came across the latest Road Courtesy Campaign. You know, the one where one Chee Ko Pek looking motorcyclist smiled and waved sheepishly at a little girl who was using the zebra crossing. That was really disturbing, the courtesy campaign should not be a Chee Ko Pek man waving at a little girl.
Chee Ko Pek-ing is not courteous at all, neither is smiling and waving at a little girl. Only pedophiles smile and wave at little girls while they are using the zebra crossing. Courteous people do not sit on their motorcycle smiling at prepubescent girls in school uniforms.
The Singapore Courtesy Coucil is not doing a good job with our courtesy campaign and here at E.M.Y.P.N.Z, the editors are not too happy about it. The similarities are not lost on me that our courtesy mascot, Singa the Lion is a Bor Cheng Kor (never wear pants) lion. Ah-ha!
Pedophile – Bor Cheng Kor
Bor Cheng Kor – Pedophile
Bor Cheng Kor is not very courteous.
You get the idea.
Therefore, allow me to propose a new looking mascot for the subsequent Singapore Courtesy Campaign. Called Singa the Wu Cheng Kor (got wear pants) Lion,
A little bit of editing and what you are getting is a much better Singapore Courtesy Campaign.
BOX OFFICE HIT THIS SEASON June 22, 2007
Posted by wesharethesameblogspot in Kenneth, This Is Serious.add a comment
Just when you thought after Die Hard was Die Harder and then followed by Die Harderest.
We present to you this season’s box office smasher…
”Who says potatos are soft?”
FANTASTIC CHEW: RISE OF THE INTERNET SURFER June 21, 2007
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The following E.M.Y.P.N.Z movie review is proudly brought to you by Botak Raju.
The rather oily nemesis, The Internet Surfer, comes to Ang Mo Kio to prepare it for destruction. As the Internet Surfer races around Ang Mo Kio on his tricycle wreaking havoc, Mr. Chew, Invisible Chew, The Chew and The Chew Torch must unravel the mystery of the Internet Surfer and confront the surprising return of their mortal enemy, Dr. Chew, before all the Internet connections are lost
Genres: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Horror (Nude scenes of The Chew), Science Fiction/Fantasy
Running Time: 31 min
Release Date: June 15th, 2007 (Only in Singapore)
Rating: R21 for sequences of action violence, some vulgar language and nude scenes
Singapore Box Office: S$16.00
Cast and Credits
Starring: Chew Zhi Huan
Directed by: Chew Zhi Huan
Produced by: Chew Zhi Huan
Our verdict: 0.3/5
The movie was poorly edited, much like the promotional poster. You can’t help but gasp in horror at The Chew’s nude bathing scene, stabbing your eyes with a pencil would be much less painful. Catch it at your heartland cinemas only if you want a movie that is occasionally funny, but is still nonetheless mind-numbingly silly.
